Spiritual Socialites: You wrote a simple guide for men about the many different things they can do to show the special woman in their life how much he loves her called “Let
Me Show You How I Love You.” What inspired you to write this book?
Jim Callum: I was inspired to write “Let Me Show You How I Love You” when I became aware of a pattern of what seemed to be a lack of awareness among many men. I have been a licensed health care professional for over forty years. I have worked with hundreds of women during this time: nurses, nursing assistants, housekeepers, etc. During Christmas, Valentines Day, Mother’s Day, etc., the
female staff would usually ask me what I did for my wife.
When I told them what I had done, they would reply, “That is so sweet, I wish my husband (or boyfriend) would do things like that.” This happened so often, it made me begin to think. I wondered why some men didn’t do some of the many things that I always seemed to do. I took notes about this for almost four years. The psychiatrist who wrote the foreword to my book specializes in couples and sex therapy and he encouraged me to write the book. It’s written simply with no psychobabble to encourage men to keep reading. I wanted to help them be able to better express their love to their special someone.
SS: What is your advice for those trying to meet someone to share their lives
JC: My advice to those seeking to meet someone to share their life is this: While looks are the first things we notice about another person, you have to look much deeper than the surface. You need to connect with a persons mind, their heart and even their soul. As you progress through a long term
relationship, the external body begins to change. This process is known as ageing. Many times the years are not very kind regarding the ageing process. On the other hand, the internal areas such as the mind, the heart and the soul simply become wiser with more experience. How many times have you heard someone say, “I am 50 on the outside, but inside I still feel like I am 25.” If you are looking for a long term relationship, have one with someone you can appreciate for their inner self first. As the external self begins to change, they can still enjoy and appreciate what they have been sharing on the inside.
SS: What’s the hardest part about being in a relationship?
JC: I believe that the hardest part of being in a relationship is to see your partner in distress. Regardless if they are in physical,mental,emotional or any other kind of distress, it always sends a signal to me and I must take some kind of positive and helpful action. To sit back and do nothing while my wife was in distress would be like sticking an ice pick in my own heart.
What’s the best part of being in a relationship?
The best part of being in a relationship is the feeling I get when I know I’ve done something that put a smile on my honey’s face. It really does not take a lot to do this. Yes, I bought her a diamond encircled watch once and she was quite happy about it. I feel that I have created more powerful and
positive moments when I slip a little note in her lesson plan book (she’s a teacher) and she finds it during her fourth period class. I usually write something simple like: Just wanted you to know how much I love you and miss you. See you later my sweet!! Moi. Some nights I sit with her on the sofa and give her a warm foot massage for about thirty minutes. I feel that moments like these are priceless.
SS: Any relationship advice for going the distance?
JC: My advice for going the distance would be to have good communication with each other. When we decided to become engaged, my “future wife” and I each made a list. We took a good look at ourselves and wanted to be as fair as possible. The list had two columns, one titled, “Things I am willing to change about myself and the other titled, “Things I am not willing to change.” We felt it was important to know from the start where we stood. The next part of good communication is to be a good listener. Many people listen only to “respond”, they do not listen to “understand.” Some people only want to be
“right,” rather than be fair. It’s important to understand where a person is coming from, and why, before you make a response.
SS: Do you consider yourself spiritual? If so, where does your spiritual
influence come from?
JC: Yes, I do consider myself to be spiritual. I have always entertained the idea that I received my spirituality from my father. He died when I was twelve (in an accident); we were very close. He told me many things the two years before he died and I always wandered why he did. I also believe in guardian angels (or some positive force that is always with you). I have been assisted several time by this force (or angel), usually during (or just before) a crisis.
SS: How do you ground yourself?
JC: I ground myself in three ways. First, I keep my body alkalized by drinking water with either lemon juice or apple cider vinegar mixed in. I practice diaphragmatic breathing a few times each day in a particular way, although I breathe with my diaphragm regularly anyway. I also practice self-hypnosis on a regular basis. Self-hypnosis and meditation are first cousins. The profound relaxation is healthy for the body and the ability to connect with my higher self is always welcomed. When you clear your mind you enhance everything about yourself.
SS: What’s the best relationship advice you have ever been given?
JC: The best relationship advice I have ever been given was something my dad told me many years ago, long before I ever had a relationship outside of the immediate family. He simply said, “Remember this always, it’s nice to be important, but it’s more important to be nice.” I think that is why we are here; to help each other learn and grow. Being nice or kind to everyone is not
a form of weakness, it’s a powerful strength. Like boomerang karma, what you sow, you reap. I find it is very important (and wonderful) to be nice to my wife.
SS: What is your definition of a Spiritual Socialite?
JC: My definition of a Spiritual Socialite is someone who aspires to be their
best self through body, mind and spirit. A person who takes care of themselves
physically, mentally and spiritually. I actually produced and hosted a live,
one-hour radio program for four years, “The Body, Mind & Spirit Connection.”
Each week I’d interview a new guest on health, healing and wellness through
body, mind and spirit.
To learn more about Jim, click here.